I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
