Already got asked if we're dating
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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