Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
