Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
it hurts more in the daytime
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
