Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Randomize
