Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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