We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
