I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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