God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
