I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
