am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
