God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
he was CRYING into my vagina
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize