Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
