Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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