I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize