I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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