you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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