So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
