It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
