Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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