found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
