We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
you will always have a special place in my vag
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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