i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
