Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (563): My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood http://tfl.nu/k7f1
  Replies (1) Good night (1283) Bad night (1788)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years http://tfl.nu/kvc8
  Replies (6) Good night (750) Bad night (2595)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (212): I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew. (503): Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word. http://tfl.nu/4en3
  Replies (26) Good night (5716) Bad night (754)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano. http://tfl.nu/kwsa
  Replies (6) Good night (2494) Bad night (3417)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden http://tfl.nu/by6o
  Replies (35) Good night (4933) Bad night (1515)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (828): then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge http://tfl.nu/hh8c
  Replies (10) Good night (4352) Bad night (1357)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great. http://tfl.nu/il4g
  Replies (4) Good night (2560) Bad night (1140)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens http://tfl.nu/da7z
  Replies (5) Good night (3835) Bad night (1018)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?

  (714): View more from California

  Whatever it is you failed

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (562): I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean? (714): Whatever it is you failed http://tfl.nu/fjub
  Replies (10) Good night (1078) Bad night (2061)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon... http://tfl.nu/zui4
  Replies (3) Good night (1328) Bad night (1209)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  ... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): ... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard? http://tfl.nu/u1hc
  Replies (7) Good night (480) Bad night (1385)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers. http://tfl.nu/588y
  Replies (6) Good night (1414) Bad night (543)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night? http://tfl.nu/0iz6
  Replies (2) Good night (397) Bad night (715)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend http://tfl.nu/sjdd
  Replies (7) Good night (529) Bad night (913)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (718): Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday. http://tfl.nu/4crp
  Replies (2) Good night (526) Bad night (179)

Randomize