he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
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Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
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All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?