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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.

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• (619): View more from California

  3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...

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• (432): View more from Texas

  Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (360): View more from Washington

  I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive

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