Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
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