it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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