Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize