Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
