Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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