ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
