I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
My feet surprised me
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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