sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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