If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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