I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
