I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
