I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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