Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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