i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
