It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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