You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
