I'm lost and stupid without you.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize
