If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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