If that was your dad, he is hot
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I'm at about main and main street
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
