I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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