ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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