Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
