i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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