I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
