WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
