Where is the hickey?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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