Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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