hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Thank you for not boning my boss.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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