u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
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I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
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I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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