the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
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