NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
