I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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