hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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