If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize