remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
