That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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