But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
