There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
