i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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