This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
