It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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